Once again I find myself wide awake at 3am. Wait… nope, now it’s 5am. Same as last night; no idea why. I’m tired. I had a busy day. I even had red wine before bed. That’s usually helpful. Not lately.
So I started a list. Since my mind won’t stop looping — “work… too late to take a sleeping pill… shouldn’t have had those chips and queso at happy hour… was supposed to work out but didn’t… tomorrow’s meetings… Adrianne’s birthday… shit did I respond to that email?… what am I doing with my life… should I read a book or continue laying here… still can’t believe what an asshole he was to me… I’m hungry… “ — I made a list of everything that is constantly in the back of my mind in the hopes that writing it all down would relieve me and allow me mayybeee 2 hours of sleep. I labeled it Get Your Life Together and Go To Bed.
Clearly that didn’t work. Because it’s 5:30 now.
… I’ve always liked writing. I definitely got it from my Mom; she always said that she’d love to write children’s books. She was a beautiful writer in general. So, I’m writing. Hoping that A) it’ll give me the much needed relaxation that I need and B) ..there’s totally a “B” but I’ve hit delirium land.
After writing the Financial section of my GYLTaGTB list I made an Interests checklist, basically to keep me focused on what makes me happy. Fitness… music… fashion… volunteering… music… half marathon — I need to focus more on these areas. I said music twice didn’t I. Austin is such an easy city to get caught up in, and it’s close to impossible not to when you say Yes to basically every single thing you’re invited to. So that’s my goal. Focus on those things and get my life together. It’s not like I think I’m a hot mess or anything; I have a good job, great apartment, and am genuinely a happy and optimistic person. But there’s GOT to be a reason that I am simply not able to sleep. So hopefully by cutting out some of the craziness (some, not all) I’ll actually get more than 3 hours of sleep a night. And in the meantime, I’ll just take pictures of all the happiness that occurs while I’m getting my life together and (trying to) go to bed…